The Sewing Class or How I let My Boyfriend Guest Post

Hello, folks. The Aldi Cook here, writing a guest blog for you numerous fans of Meg the Grand. You may ask yourself why is someone whose blog has nothing to do with sewing writing a guest post here. You would be right to do so. I do not sew. I once reattached a button with duct tape. Yeah, I'm that guy. Megan, however, recently hosted a sewing class which taught, of all things, how to sew buttons. As she was busy teaching the class, I documented the thing for the purpose of putting it on the internets. As her boyfriend, I also have unlimited access to her and can wait until she is drunk to get her to agree to things like this. (Meg here: this sentence sounds totally wrong. TOTALLY WRONG.) Everybody wins. So, without further ado, I present Megan's Sewing Class Wonderment With Unicorns:


The event started with us waiting for everyone to get there. Traffic was awful, so not everyone showed up at the same time. When they did show up, they had food or booze or both. It was a good way to get things started. (Homemade tamales seen below from here: AMAZING.)


There was fruit, chocolate, cheese, sausage, mini cinnamon rolls, tamales, and champagne. Some people got the idea to add some of the fruit to their champagne.(That would be me.  Totally guilty.)


I decided to class up the joint even more. (*sigh*)


Eventually the majority of people coming to the class showed up, so Megan starts to explain how things were going to work, where people should sit, where to get the samplers, needles, threads, and buttons, and all the things that people who have been drinking and socializing will immediately listen to.


Megan missed her calling as a teacher, because everyone falls in line and starts preparing for the class. Between drinking and documenting, I miss most of the instructions. (This is typical Rob behavior. Do not be fooled.)


Luckily I know the teacher, and I am soon set straight. Megan explains that we will be sewing 2 hole, 4 hole, shank, and covered buttons. We will also be sewing snaps. She gives instructions on how to thread a needle, and how to knot the thread. I pick up an already threaded needle because I do not suffer from masochism. (OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TO LEARN...ugh.)


We begin with the 2 hole buttons. I have had a few beers/am an idiot, so I have a few problems, but nothing our teacher doesn't patiently address. 


The girl next to me, let's call her Shelley (because that's her name), is overly competitive and uses my camera to take pictures of her oh-so-perfect button.


She then turns the camera on me to document my continued struggle.

Photo credit: Shelley "I'm Better Than You" Nixon (fact.)

I have another beer. Through inattentiveness/drunkenness/stupidity I have managed to sew a potato chip to my sampler. (Teacher is not pleased. Potato chips do not belong on samplers.  They belong in French Onion dip - FACT.)


Megan is not pleased. I shank my potato chip (I never thought I would ever type that sentence...again). We continue through 4 hole and shank buttons with Megan providing explanations and solutions to the common problems of unexplained knots, running out of thread mid button, etc. Everyone is having a wonderful time. When we get to covered buttons the class is amazed. I am told I cannot use Megan's button kit to create a deli ham covered button. (I mean, seriously?) My dreams of a ham and swiss coat die before they can become a tasty reality. When we are done with the many inappropriate jokes about the male/female parts of the snaps, Shelley's sampler looks much better than mine.



I make a decisive move to eliminate the evidence of my failure.


The class was a huge success. I feel that I can competently sew buttons now. There was much talk about when the next class would be (hems y'all). I must say, Megan is a very good, and let's face it, patient teacher. Thanks to her, I now know how to sew snack foods onto fabric. I can also sew a button, but since I do live with this redheaded seamstress, I will probably allow her to continue the sewing in our relationship.

(There are just no words.  Don't drink and agree to things, Friends - take my advice on this one.)

Have a great night, all!